Friday, April 9, 2010

and now i want to cry

because my head is aching badly the whole day
because today i realized again that i don't belong anywhere..i mean truly belong.
my head is filled up with so many useless stuff and i seem not to be able to tell the good from bad
i constantly realize that it's hard to live when pieces of your heart are in so many different places around the world, carried by friends whom you miss incredibly bad.
and because i tend to leave pieces of me with every other person i meet, because i can't help myself with that.
because some people and circumstances are cruel and i don't want to accept them, though i have to.

i want to cry because i just feel like it

2 comments:

quiteanonymous said...

Yet, should it be you to cry?

Isn't there a whole season of mourning and quiet anticipation in that place in time and space where you absolutely do belong? Do you think that near-perfect place that misses such an important part of itself doesn't cry? Doesn't it yet hold its breath and hush down when it again realizes it will finally meet you when the time comes? It does. :)

There is a spark of life in every human. In every true human. A spark that cannot be betrayed or worn out, that cannot be depleted, no matter how many parts of it you hand out to precious people you care for. It's dim sometimes, but it always revitalizes itself, and then it ends up providing you with resilience and resolution exactly when you finally face all those cruel circumstances and people you can't escape.

It did so before. It will do so again. It's also ok to ache a bit in between periods of shining. :)

Actually, by the time you read this, you most probably already feel better. Human hearts possess a fascinating ability to regenerate and crying is a mean of stress relief, more than anything else. :)

Now cry it away, have your favorite hot drink and suit up again. You're gonna be needed tomorrow.

And you know how to handle it.

Onward :)

Adrineh said...

I echo quiteanonymous' words and everything that was said. And most definitely the support and inspiration that comes with it: "and you know how to handle it" :)

Though we've never met, I read your blog and because of it, I made the decision to start taking yoga classes at Shoonch ;) So keep writing, keep living and know that you're not alone...